Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
Dear yesterdays makeup, Thank you for always being there when I stay up late binge drinking on weeknights and am running late to work Friday morning. You're the best.
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
Randomize
