I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
Randomize
