Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
Randomize
