hotel room ftw
Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
Randomize
