Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
Worst walk of shame everrr. Hopefully the thought of me walking 20 minutes in the freezing cold with someone else's sweatpants, a bra on & high heels will cheer you up today.
Oh god there are people jogging. Fuck off productive people, you don't know me.
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
He texts me "what are you wearing" in the middle of the workday, so naturally I assume he's kidding and respond "the blood of my enemies" #foreveralone
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
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