Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
Randomize
