i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
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