We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
Randomize