Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
Randomize