You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
Randomize
