I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
My dream in life is to scissor with Ellen. I don't care if I've got a dick. I'll make it work.
I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
