i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
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