he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
