She is in my trunk
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
Randomize
