Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
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There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
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We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.