i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
Randomize
