My secretary told me she wishes she can have an affair with someone in the office (she's separated from her cheating husband)...Umm...Okaaay
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
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