When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
the cashier at riteaid just made the sign of the cross before he rang up my pregnancy test. now i know god is on my side
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
Randomize
