Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
Randomize
