We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
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