he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
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