After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
Randomize
