I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
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