peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found your dick twin last night
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
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