I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
Randomize
