i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
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If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
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I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
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