Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
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You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
"Functional." Your standards for how you feel after drinking are so high.
When your night starts by chugging margarita and drinking vodka out of tupperware, I feel it's best to stay realistic.
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This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.