all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
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I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
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I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
My butt remains clenched, sir.
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