i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
Why do I fail so hard at ironing, when I'm a woman and i should be amazing at it?
because god found you far too good at oral sex and had to make all things even?
I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..