Texts From Last Night

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  (504): View more from Louisiana

  Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes

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  (504): Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes http://tfl.nu/awap
  Replies (11) Good night (682) Bad night (857)
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  (253): View more from Washington

  I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.

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  (253): I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw. http://tfl.nu/27va
  Replies (2) Good night (721) Bad night (2949)
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  (212): View more from New York

  You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.

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  (212): You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin. http://tfl.nu/5eus
  Replies (15) Good night (857) Bad night (4678)
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  (619): View more from California

  well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen

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  (619): well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen http://tfl.nu/rvwe
  Replies (42) Good night (1049) Bad night (5327)
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  (954): View more from Florida

  I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.

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  (954): I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu. http://tfl.nu/e5ot
  Replies (9) Good night (3855) Bad night (800)
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  (732): View more from New Jersey

  I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad

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  (732): I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad http://tfl.nu/c88e
  Replies (15) Good night (4680) Bad night (916)
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  (479): View more from Arkansas

  Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?

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  (479): Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one? http://tfl.nu/0w3a
  Replies (55) Good night (966) Bad night (6602)
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  (303): View more from Colorado

  Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...

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  (303): Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water... http://tfl.nu/8ncn
  Replies (12) Good night (6796) Bad night (1319)
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  (201): View more from New Jersey

  nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment

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  (201): nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment http://tfl.nu/9t1d
  Replies (13) Good night (1171) Bad night (4245)
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  (714): View more from California

  She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.

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  (714): She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View. http://tfl.nu/be63
  Replies (12) Good night (960) Bad night (2622)
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  (910): View more from North Carolina

  So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?

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  (910): So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding? http://tfl.nu/hdxw
  Replies (4) Good night (1177) Bad night (572)
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  (219): View more from Indiana

  He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.

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  (219): He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket. http://tfl.nu/ujcd
  Replies (4) Good night (1319) Bad night (436)
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  (785): View more from Kansas

  We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.

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  (785): We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen. http://tfl.nu/aun6
  Replies (1) Good night (937) Bad night (341)
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  (309): View more from Illinois

  All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.

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  (309): All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk. http://tfl.nu/b2p3
  Replies (2) Good night (552) Bad night (288)
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  (604): View more from British Columbia

  he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas

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  (604): he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas http://tfl.nu/s6lv
  Replies (0) Good night (271) Bad night (365)

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