If i come over, it means nothing
I feel great
I just peed on a car
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize