I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
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