oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
Randomize
