Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
My vagina just recognized that song.
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
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