I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
Randomize
