yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
We talked him into tasing himself.
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
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