I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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