Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
Just pee around me
I told the emergency room nurse I didn't want to stop and ruin the moment. She said safewords are there for a reason. Super condescending. Got her number though.
Turns out it's a fake number.
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
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