O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
my dad is drunk dialing our relatives who are stuck in a blizzard asking them to pick up sun tan lotion for him cause hes too drunk to drive to the store.
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
Randomize
