Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
If you're receiving this text it's probably because I drunkenly flashed you on Saturday. Sorry for forcing you to look at my tits. That was uncalled for.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
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