Sacagawea was the original milf.
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
They are going to name an STD after you.
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize