so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
Randomize
