In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
17 year olds will be the death of me.
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I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
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He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
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