This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Randomize
