Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
Shitshow foam night was such a success
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
