Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
