Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize