Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Randomize
