She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
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I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
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