just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
