There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
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