She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
Randomize
