Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
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