And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
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