you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Randomize