I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize
