I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
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