super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
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