Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
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