Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
Randomize
