So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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