I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
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Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
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