East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
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